Grace Ogedengbe - On Being Always On The Move, Being A Mom, Working With Women, And Dealing With Stereotypes
Interview by Oluwakemi Agbato
Meet the mom who is always on the move. Juggling life can be a big task. It doesn’t get easier when you have a child. We speak with Grace Ogedengbe who is a flight attendant, model and ride-share driver. Most important to her is being a mom.
Kemi: Good day Grace, could you tell us a bit about yourself?
Grace: I can. My name is Grace Ogedengbe, I have a diploma from the Nigerian Institute of Journalism. However, I do not work as a journalist. I work as a flight attendant and part-time, I drive for Bolt. I do some modelling here and there as well. And most importantly, I’m a mom. A mom to my 4-year-old daughter, Heaven.
K: You seem like you have a really busy life, was it always like this?
G: I had a regular childhood. A lot of staying indoors and playing with my four siblings. Nothing really stands out until I turned sixteen. That year, I had to start working for income and my parents also got separated. I also didn’t get into any tertiary institution for a few years. I finally gained admission into the Institute of Journalism when I was 21. And it was also this year I got pregnant. Things were rough for those few years but I’ve been able to pull through because of support from family and friends.
K: You have a daughter and at a young age as well, how has motherhood been?
G: It has been tough and beautiful. I got pregnant when things were finally working out for me so it was a shock. My parents weren’t happy at first but they never spoke badly to me. But I was still depressed and at some point, suicidal because I thought I had thrown all I had been working for away. I still decided to keep her because I wanted to.
Heaven is so smart. We have this special bond; she knows when my feelings change. She is literally my life. She drives everything I do. I work so hard because I want to give her a good life. Her dad is supportive but I want to give her everything I can. On the other hand, all she wants is for me to be around her. Honestly, being a mom has been the best experience I’ve had.
K: That is amazing. You mentioned you are a flight attendant; people often consider it a glamorous job. How did you get into the industry?
G: My older sister is a flight attendant and was in the industry before I joined. When we were younger, we always had dreams of working on an aircraft. She got the job as I gained admission for my diploma. In 2019, after finishing school and waiting for my child to reach an age where it was safe to be left at home with other caregivers, I began my journey as a flight attendant. There was a lot of compulsory training and exams. We have a lot of manuals to master. Even after being certified, there can be random oral exams so you have to always be on your toes.
As flight attendants, we are certified first responders, we can provide first aid and provide an immediate response to fires. So, it is much more than the glamour people perceive it as. It is quite rigorous and we even have to write some governmental exams. People are usually surprised to hear that being a member of the cabin crew is more than looking good and welcoming people. Imagine standing for 6–9 hours a day and that’s just one part of it. Turbulence can also be quite scary, and we have to comfort other passengers. But I’m shaking in my heart sometimes.
K: Seeing as you also have another job that has to do with movement, do you think you are always on the move?
G: My main job has me working 4–5 days. In one shift, there can be 4–6 stops depending on the flight schedule and we usually don’t even get off the plane. I usually have 2 days off a week from my main role. And those days, I’m mostly driving so it does feel like I’m always on the move. It can get really stressful.
K: Seeing as most members of the cabin crew are women, how has it been working with women?
G: You are correct, I’d say my colleagues are about eighty per cent women. Since I started the role, I’ve not had any issues. I think I have been able to do this by focusing on being professional; I make corrections, I’m a good team player and I am always ready to learn. A lot of the warnings about beef between women in the industry have not been true for me and I’m happy about that. Even when there are difficult or really strict line trainers, I try my best to give the best performance because I don’t like confrontations.
K: I think that’s a great approach. You’ve spoken a lot about your main job. What is your experience with driving for Bolt?
G: I began driving less than a year ago. It was strange at first, I was really nervous. When I started, people were always cancelling my rides when they found out it was a female driver. It was strange to me because all my passengers rate me highly. I probably have like 4.95 stars so I knew it wasn’t the skill or the customer experience. People responded that they weren’t comfortable riding with a woman. I was like please let me drive so I can get this money. It was frustrating because I was getting as many as 6 cancelled rides in a day, often after I had driven to the pick-up location.
Apart from this, my shoulders were hurting because of the extended hours of driving. I had a personal quota to meet so I usually drove for 10–12 hours. Sometimes after work, I would try to get a ride going in the direction of my home. People were always asking why I was driving. They said I was too beautiful. My response was I prefer to make my money this way. I don’t want to rely on any man’s benevolence.
There is this trip that really stands out, an older male passenger asked me if I had a taser or pepper spray. I was so scared at first because I thought he wanted to attack me. He was asking because he was scared for me. He mentioned that I was a young woman driving people around at late hours. He asked me to get them as soon as possible. It told him I would. I also told him that I could defend myself. I always have a long screwdriver next to me to defend myself if anything gets violent. I narrated an incident that happened when I was on a trip and some area boys at Ajah asked me to wind down, obviously trying to rob me, I brought out the screwdriver and put on a menacing face and they left me.
K: Your work has so much to do with working with people. Are you a people’s person?
G: Not so much. I’m more introverted and a lot of times, I need to have my space from time to time, even with my child. One thing I’ve found out is that I’m good at providing customer service and I am relatable. I’ve had great conversations on rides and I’ve found that people find it easy to confide in me because they probably will never see me again. Even when passengers are rude or aggressive, I always try to de-escalate because of my training as a flight attendant. Sometimes, these passengers call to apologize for their behaviour. I have also met a few clients who have become friends. But I maintain a boundary line with most of my clients.
K: For a few years now, there have been repeated instances of theft, facilitating police harassment and even sexual assault by some Bolt drivers. Questions on how drivers are screened and these issues are addressed have arisen. Seeing as you also face specific issues as a woman driving for Bolt, are there any mechanisms to address any of these occurrences?
G: I think the main mechanism they have is the reporting system. You can report a rider or a passenger and if they find the offence grave enough, such person will be blocked from the application. I have not been in any situation where I had to make a report so I can’t speak for efficiency. I have not been driving long enough to have much experience with this. As for the screening, it is not stringent. The requirements only pertain to the vehicle you have or plan to use and whether you are licensed to drive.
K: Enough about work, what is your support system like?
G: I have the best family; they’ve been there for me through everything. I have a good number of friends I can call on anytime. I am mentally exhausted sometimes and need someone to talk to and my friends are there. I know I can always rely on them.
K: What do you want for your daughter?
G: I want her to know that as a woman you can be strong, expressive, and you can do whatever you want to do. I want her to know that she shouldn’t let people take her for granted and that she is so powerful.
I tell her how much I love her a lot and she says it to me too. I express my love because I want her to know how important she is to me and to never doubt herself. I want my daughter to grow up in a world of equal opportunities for men and women. I don’t want her to see that the only way to have power is to be the powerful man’s wife. Women are equally intelligent and capable and should not be seen as objects for display.
K: What are your hopes for the future?
G: I just want a stable life, I want my child to be provided for. I want my family in a comfortable place. I want to have achieved certain goals I’ve set for myself. I want a comfortable life; I’m not looking to be extremely wealthy.
K: I hope you get all you wish for. Thank you for speaking with us. Is there anything you would like our readers to support?
G: They can follow me on Instagram at @graycee_me.