In describing the struggles of transitioning into adulthood, Kristen Stewarts explains that it is determining what you want to do that brings you joy. While becoming an adult can be an astonishing and emotionally exciting experience, it is also filled with a plethora of expectations, including the struggle with newfound independence, identity, fear, and uncertainty.
Individuals, in their early stages of adulthood, are filled with innumerable questions. What does life have in store for me? How do I accomplish my long-term goals? How can I stay happy and hopeful when I experience jarring and undetermined events?
To answer these questions, several people write letters to their younger selves. These writers desire to look back at how they started and how far they have gone - the obstacles and fears they’d overcome.
I would be sharing a note to my twenty-year-old self, who, five years ago, was fresh out of school, trying to navigate the ups and downs of life and fulfil her dreams. Here’s a note from 25-year-old Maryam praising her younger self for the little and mighty strides she is taking and cheering her on to keep living and loving. Why? Because the best days are yet to come. I hope this note buoys every young person looking to appreciate the present and live a happier and more fulfilled life.
Dear Younger Me,
Firstly, I want to express admiration for the incredible goals you’ve attained over a short period; graduating with a First Class degree and creating a blog to hone your writing skills. Look at what you’ve achieved! You’ve put in years of dedication to be where you are today. So, be proud of your accomplishments.
You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met. You pulled in resources and took heroic steps to actualise your goal of becoming a writer. You shunned fragments of disappointment and faced the tragedies of life with remarkable equanimity. Wow, look at you creating a great path for your future!
You are scared and anxious, like every twenty-year-old. But let me tell you this: it is perfectly normal to be out of your depth. There will be moments of happiness and sadness. Life is full of inevitable highs and lows. However, disappointing moments do not last forever.
You recently lost someone dearest to your heart, and while you believe you have completely healed from the indescribable hurt you felt when it happened, you still break down in tears when someone asks you about it. And when you sit alone in your cramped apartment, reading real-life stories from Quora, you still experience occasional bouts of numbness and shock. You will relive the moments you both spent together and wish you could experience them, again. I cannot promise that the pain will go away because no one completely gets over losing a beloved. However, you will seek joy in spreading love amongst your favourite people, who are still alive.
Do not try so hard to please everyone. Learn that ‘No’ is a complete word and no one should tell you otherwise. Relationships will come and go, Maryam, so do not fight too hard. You will meet kind and lovely friends that will fill your life with lots of laughter. Cherish those moments because they won’t last forever.
Romantic relationships can be a bitter-sweet experience. When you’re no longer happy in a relationship, end it. Yes, it’s as simple as that. Do not feel guilty for breaking out of an unexciting and unadventurous relationship. You would be spending the rest of your life; breaking grounds, visiting lovely cities, and trying new delicacies with this person. Choose right, Maryam.
Do not think less of yourself or how you look. As cliche as it sounds, you are perfect just the way you are. Look at those bright eyes and dark skin, and jet-black, full hair. Why should you ever compare yourself with someone else?
Seek happiness in the little things and bright spots that bring snippets of joy - go on blind dates, dress beautifully, buy yourself a nosegay of flowers, wear more lipsticks, visit an ice cream store after accomplishing a new goal, devour bowls of spicy noodles, read more fictional pieces, appreciate the awesomeness of nature and, above all, keep writing.
You’re alive, Maryam. That’s what matters.
Love always,
Your future self.
